jaehwa

 

‘I want to be your bed in your room for just a day.’

 

I lightly knocked on the door, not wanting to wake too many of the family members up.

The one to open was, of course, Mrs. Jung.

“Oh, Junsu, Good morning. I guess you’re here for JiHae?” She said, little tired, but still as friendly.

“Yes, is she awake yet?” I asked, giving Mrs. Jung my brightest smile which made her giggle.

“No, that lazy little girl is still asleep. Want me to go and wake her up?”

“No no~ Ill just go and wake her up myself. You can go back to sleep.” I said, smiling at her.

“Ah, do that then. Then Ill go. Goodnight?” She smiled, walking to her bed room.

I walked though the apartment until I reached JiHae’s door. I checked the door once again before opening, just to make sure it isn’t her brother’s door. I don’t want to get beaten up again…

“Nh~ I love you to~ Mwah~” I giggled at JiHae sleep talking again. How can someone be so adorable?

‘I want to make you go to sleep, comfortably, warmly in my arms.’

“Yah! Wake up!” I said, shaking roughly on JiHae’s body.

“Yunho~ Stop that!” I suddenly heard her scream, before feeling her foot on my head.

“Arg~”I groaned in pain.

“Ah! Junsu-oppa! I-I’m sorry~” She said when she finally saw that it was me.

“Don’t worry about it…” I said, holding my head. When did she get so strong?

“Oppa~” She said, giving me her best puppy eyes. “Ill cook for you if you want?” She said.

First a kick on my head and then food poison? No thanks.

“Don’t worry, Ill cook.” I said, smiling.

“Are you sure..?” She said, giving me a worried look and tilting her head a little to left.

“Yea.”

 

‘For you, I'd win over all your problems and all your busy errands,
Even the monster in your dream.’

“YEY~!!” She shouted happily. “I love you, you know that right?” She said before jumping away to the kitchen.

How I wish you loved me like a man instead of as a friend.

But can I really ask for more?

 

I were walking to school with JiHae as always, when she suddenly ran way.

Then I saw it, Yoochun, JiHae’s crush. Of course I’m not important compared to him.

I just smiled bitterly and continued walk to the classroom.

’I wonder how a day without me passes by for you.’

 

I sat in my now almost full classroom, when JiHae ran in and to me.

“Ah~ Junsu-oppa~ I’m sorry for leaving you like that~” She said, giving me her puppy eyes again.

I just sighed.

“Aw~ don’t be like that~ Come on, I treat you a really good lunch? Okay?”

I looked at her and smiled. “Okay~!” I said happily, which made her smile back.

 

I looked around for JiHae, wasn’t she here just a second ago?

Suddenly I got a message. It was from JiHae.

I sighed. “Yoochun again…” I mumbled before leaving to the dining room.

 

‘I’m so curious to how much you really love me.’

 

Suddenly Changmin, the new guy, came to me.

“Hi, can I sit here?” He said, pointing at the chair in front of me.

“Sure.” I said smiling. “You must be the new guy, right? Chang… chang…changma?” I asked, rising my eyebrow.

He laughed a little before saying “No, Changmin. And you are…?”

“Junsu, nice to meet you~”

 

I walked home with JiHae, looking at her super happy face.

“Did something good happen?” I asked

“S-e-c-r-e-t~” She said happily.

“Come on~ tell me~ Its Yoochun again, right?”

“Maybe~” She said, almost walking on clouds of happiness.

“JiHae~ Tell me~”

“Oh, wanna come over to my place? I borrowed that movie you wanted to see~” She said, changing the subject.

I just sighed and walked along.

‘I want to be your diary in your little drawer.
I want to put all your secrets in my heart, without you knowing.’

 

I were watching the movie. God, it was so good!

When the movie ended I turned to JiHae happily.

“The movie was so good~!! And that-” I stopped when I saw JiHae play with her kitty. “…don’t tell me that you been playing with the cant instead of watching the movie?”

JiHae looked up and just smiled innocently. “No, of course not.”

I smiled; she really didn’t know how to lie, did she?

“I’m going to the toilet~ be right back~” She said, putting the cat on the couch before running away.

I stared at the kitty. “Your so damn lucky~” I said, starting to play with it.

’I want to be your kitty for just a day.
You feed it warm milk and softly embrace it.
Seeing your playfulness with the cat and your cute kisses to it
I guess I even felt a little jealous.’

“Cold~” I complained, looking at JiHae who were jumping around among the people. Why were I here? Yea, now I remember, Yoochun was going to play basket here. But I still don’t know why were here so early…

I just continued watching her playing around by herself. How can someone be so beautiful and nice at the same time?

Suddenly I saw her looking around. I smiled, knowing she were looking for me.

I started to wave to her until she saw me and ran to me.

“How come you always see me?” She asked, patting.

“That’s because… I have 10 eyes~”

‘My heart is like this…
You're the only person who can see it.
No matter who I see, or where I am,
I only look at you.’

 

“Kya~!! Yoochun~!!” I heard some girls scream.

I looked at JiHae, expecting her to run over there to. But she just stood there, smiling and watching him from afar.

“You’re not going to run over there and watch..?” I asked, having a bad feeling about this.

“No, I don’t need to anymore~ I’m in higher class then them now~” She said happily

“Higher class?” I asked, tilting my head to left.

“I didn’t tell you? Me and Yoochun started dating~!!” She said, jumping up and down of happiness.

But for me, it felt like time stopped…

‘I want to be your close lover just for a day.
I'd be able to listen to your accomplishments and even your complaints,
just for you.’

 

I looked at JiHae talking happily with Yoochun.

We didn’t walk together today, or yesterday, or the days before.

Suddenly, I felt someone hit me on the back of my head which made me look back.

“Changmin…” I said, trying my best to smile.

He just looked at JiHae. “So you like her?” He suddenly said.

“Huh?” I asked, not really getting what he meant.

“Her.” He said, pointing at JiHae. “You used to walk with her to school before. Did you guy’s break up or something?” He asked.

“B-break up? We were never dating…” I said, looking down.

“So, then I guess you guys were ‘best friends’?” he said, trying his best to make eye contact with me.

“Y-yea.”

“Hm… Then, I guess you want her?”

I looked up, not understanding were he wanted to come with this.

“You don’t confess because you don’t want to lose what you have with her, am I right?” He said, looking pleased with finally having eye contact.

“Yea..?”

“Then, you choose friendship instead of love?”

“What are you trying to get with this?”

“Are you grateful of what you have? Because if you are, then I think you should move on. If not, you should confess. But don’t forget that both your and that girl’s happiness is on line, no matter what you do.” He said, walking away.

In some way, he didn’t make sense. But in someway he did.

Maybe it’s time to move on?

Then, at last she can be happy. And I’m still her best friend, right?

‘In my heart, in my soul
Love is still something that’s awkward to me but
I want to you give you everything in this world
Even if it would only be in my dreams
My heart is like this
Just the fact that I can watch over you,
Makes me so grateful, I’m so happy, even if I lack a lot.’

It been days since I decided to move on, and now that I try not thinking about JiHae all the time, I started to talk with more people; mostly Changmin.

How come I never noticed that there were this many nice people in my class?

I actually felt happy, knowing that I have more then one friend. And maybe, I have one more best friend to now?

I walked down happily after a day in the karaoke bar with Changmin and some other guys. It’s the first time I sing in front of other people then my family, and they said that they liked it.

But my happy mood disappeared at once when I saw JiHae in front of my house, crying.

“What happened?” I asked worried, running to her.

She looked at me and hugged me. “H-he cheated on me.” She said, crying even more.

I want to be your lover forever.
When you are in my arms, I want to become stone.
So we can stay this way forever.

 

Can I really move on?